There’s never a dull moment on The Jersey Shore, the runaway hit show on MTV that has bled into every conversation I’ve had lately. If you’re a loyal viewer, you’ll notice that food has played a big role in the show’s weekly antics. I went back through the episodes and put together our list of the best and worst food moments from The Jersey Shore, filtering them, per usual, through The Pump’s healthful eating philosophy. Below we offer some insight into both good and bad food habits we’ve seen on the show.
Every Sunday, the Jersey Shore cast sits down to a relatively civilized dinner (if you count slurping pasta and chugging Gatorade as respectable table manners, that is) of home cooked delicacies from the old world. “Yo bro, pass the mani-goot.” This is a good one – Sunday supper is a weekly ritual we can endorse. Studies show that sitting down to a peaceful dinner can facilitate a place of communion, fellowship, and a means of reconnecting with those we care about the most (JWoww & Sammi, we’re talking to you). Even the most mundane conversations (about hair gel, tan lines, juice heads, etc.) are welcome.
I’m not sure what motivates Snooki to consume so many dill pickles. Does she simply love them for their briny taste profile? Or is pickle consumption an ancient guidette tactic for attracting the male species? Nonetheless, pickles are actually a healthful snack if you eat the lower sodium varieties. Pickled vegetables are low in calories and fat, and they contain high amounts of electrolytes that have been shown to help cure hangovers. So pass the jar, Snooki, or, on second thought, keep it to yourself. You’ll need a barrel full of them after last night’s 24-hour drunken stupor left you face down in the sand. Waaah!
Trays of Italian food from Staten Island would make anyone feel like an M.V.P., even Ronnie. Vinny’s mom comes packing each season with deli meats, breads, and pasta–a complete feast. We like that Vinny’s mom is old-fashioned–she cooks from scratch and uses family recipes that have special significance to those involved. Although the food is not totally healthful, it’s home cooking, and that goes a long way with us. Kinda off subject but not to be forgotten, Vinny’s mom always has 6-packs of Hanes undershirts in tow because she knows the importance of a good base layer for enhanced T-SHIRT TIME results. Base layer is so key…
Grilling Frozen Food is a Meathead Move
Throwing a 12-pack of frozen turkey burger patties onto a grill in one big chunk will never yield positive results–not even Guy Fieri would attempt that. Next time, Ronnie might consider a speedier method of defrosting, like fist pumping the heck out of the turkey burgers to yield small pieces that thaw more quickly. Just a thought. Or maybe just take the turkey burgers out of the freezer before heading to the club. If you have good Karma, they might be ready for the grill by the time the Captain Morgan wears off…
Late Night Eating is Bad Karma
No matter how much you want to pull a “Kitchen Ditchin’” and hit the refrigerator before hitting the sack (one of The Situation’s favorite moves), my advice would be to skip the fridge and head straight to bed. (Unless you’re bunking with Ronnie & Sammi, in which case you’re probably better off in a food coma…)
Eating late night slows your metabolism, especially if you’ve been drinking. Your body is burning more alcohol than fat at this point, so if you add food on top of it, you’re just asking to pack on the pounds. As effective as a good GTL (“gym, tan, laundry”) can be, there’s no GTL that can fix the gut you’ll acquire by consistently pigging out after a big night out. Moreover, feeding yourself and your evening’s guest a big plate of sauseeege and peppers isn’t going to make things any prettier, although I suppose a good set of beer goggles can solve that problem…
Be Scared of Boardwalk Fare
This is one of those rare instances where locally-sourced food is actually not good for you. Eating anything from the Jersey Shore boardwalk is risky business. Fried pickles, one of Snooki’s favorites, is bad for all the obvious reasons. In a state where there’s tons of amazing fresh vegetables in the summer–beefsteak tomatoes, Jersey corn, peaches and plums–why not hit the farmer’s market and whip up a quick lunch of fresh, summery goodness? Save the fried stuff for Poughkeepsie. What other best and worst food moments from The Jersey Shore did we miss? Let us know in the comments. We want to hear from you.